Rambling Ant

This may be a bit dark

#1 I had an artificial ant colony once as a child

#2 I read Edward O Wilson’s, The Social Conquest Of Earth as an adult

#1a my ant colony all quit working and died; is this common among species in an artificial environment? maybe, maybe not, I was a child back then.

#2a I have no formal education, and could barely understand the text. Reading it was a real challenge.

Wether I am right or wrong about any number of views is a matter of perspective. I live trying my very best to do no harm, physically or otherwise. I have lost interest in supporting violent systems and do my best to stay as far away economically as possible, but fail in products of necessity. (Some of comfort, admittedly.) this world has trust issues, and I should probably be picking crops instead of complaining. My neighbor called me an ascetic the other day; I felt nothing could be further from the truth. I’m irresponsible in my reaction toward suffering having a foothold in reality. I want to remain aside, but fed; this is called selfish privilege. I’m sorry, whatever action or non-action I choose, the direction seems harmful. Art is my outlet, sub-par is my genre; a class of confused folklore. All I ever wanted was love, all I ever give is never enough, it leads me to the mystery of a Creator, that is where the “they” scoff as well. I’ll be forty soon, but I’m still twenty in function, all huffy puffy about civility and freedom. There is no ascetic here, just a person making himself poor, because of fool notions about morality. Intentions ravage us all; I feel mine are good, but outcome has become the only right, and that includes reaction. Shall I truly become an ascetic? focusing on the important mysteries of our very nature? I was told it’d be more profitable to become an electrician. Is that what you need?

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